I’ve never been a big fan of rollercoasters but have ridden several and might ride more in the future if I can get my legs in the cart. Several years ago, I was riding the Shockwave at Six Flags. There isn’t much legroom so my knees were jammed against the front wall with my feet dangling above the floor. As we went through the first upside-down loop, I got a cramp in my hamstring and because of the force couldn’t do anything but scream. The girl sitting next to me starting saying, “don’t be scared, it will be over soon.” Fortunately, she was a stranger so I didn’t have to hear stories of me screaming on the roller coaster but that is the one incident that makes me hesitant to willingly get on a roller coaster. Yet, that is where I find myself right now, on an emotional rollercoaster. Emotions come and go and I can’t predict which one is next. I described it to a friend as riding a rollercoaster in the dark because I don’t know if I’m about to go up or go down.
I can tell you that I’m no fan of this emotional ride. Maybe there is benefit in some of it but I’m tired and just want to “be” for awhile. As I’m learning, what I want isn’t all that important to the rest of the physical or spiritual worlds. I rationalize my down times by reminding myself that I have close friends who have been in much worse situations than my own yet my situation is the worst one I have experienced. Thankfully, I can gain insight from them and from their experiences where our paths are parallel. The other fear is that I don’t know how long this ride will last. At least on a real rollercoaster, you can see the end. Not so with the emotional ride.
Today, I will just do my best to put one foot in front of the other and trust in the Lord to make things right. He certainly is acting on my timetable so I will also ask him for an extra dose of patience while I learn to wait on him, to be still knowing that He will fight for me against the spiritual forces that want to tear me down. My fight is not against flesh and blood but the powers of darkness. In that realm, I nothing more than a 90 pound weakling but I have faith that God is mighty, that He can part the Red Seas and calm the storms of my life if I will simply wait on Him.
Grace and peace to you.