“You cannot keep selling something you are not convinced you (personally) need to buy.” – Todd Wagner, Watermark Senior Pator, at RightNow Conference

I had spoke similar words to a close friend just days before.  “I can sell God’s love and grace, I just have trouble buying it for myself.”  Very insightful words.  i woke up today scared of what the future holds.  I have found myself in tears in recent days hurt by recent events, hurt by my past mistakes, fearful what it means for my future and wondering why I don’t completely trust God.

I can sell it.  I have time and time again.  When I’m talking to others who are struggling, I hear my words and think “wow, if I can grasp it and feel it within myself.”  I see God at work in others, I see what God has done through and in me in the past and yet I worry and am afraid that His promise has run dry for me.

I used to be able to quote the 23rd Psalm in the King James Version.  Today, I have filled my mind with so many things that don’t matter to push out things that do matter.  I stopped typing for a moment to go read it again on Biblegateway.com and will re-memorize it.  It is something I need to repeat to myself daily.  More than that, I need to be ready to buy it for myself.  The Lord is my shepherd.  He is all that I need.  If I can buy it and believe it, I wonder how I different I will be in my actions, both internal and external.

I hope He keeps putting me in position to sell it.  More, I want to buy it in the deepest and most intimate parts of my being.