I’ve been praying a lot.  A LOT.  My life isn’t what I want it to look like.  I have enemies that torture me and others I love.  I have close friends who are struggling.

I am praying and I’m not seeing the responses I want.  Hello?  God?

As I shared this with a friend today, he responded, “quit praying for solutions.  Pray about your feelings.”  Cha-ching.  As I drove home from that meeting, I began praying about my feelings.  Tears started flowing as I got real with God.

No more give me a job, heal the broken-hearted, break down the persecutors and so on.  I was talking to God about why I’m scared, why I feel inadequate and what fear is doing to me.  I was thanking God for the joy of my children, the power of beginning to see myself as He sees me, the feeling of knowing what I am put here to do by understanding my gifting and the hope I have for tomorrow.  And for eternity.

Shortly after that prayer, I started thinking about a talk I’m giving later this month.  Thoughts began flooding my mind of something important to say and chills covered my body with the knowledge that those thoughts were coming directly from God.

Could it be that when I get real with God and express my inadequacy and need for His supernatural power, He will start pouring into me like a fire hydrant with the valve cranked wide open?  I want to be so full of God that He pours out of me.

Grace and peace.