My mind runs wild. I find concentrating often hard to do because one thought triggers another. I’ve tried praying where the object is to clear the mind and listen. Talk about tough. Wow. When I pray and speak to God, my mind often wonders off course even in that time. I’m sure God wants to reach down and thump me on the head at times.
I was reading Jesus Calling today and the writer talks about turning my mind over to God. I would really, really like to do that but I seem to have a mind that He created that doesn’t stop spinning, doesn’t stop finding new tangents to travels. In all of that whirling madness, there is fear and wondering if God’s will is so far from my hopes that I’m 90 to 180 degrees off course. Do I think I’ll find a job that pays well, let’s me stay close to my son, provide support for my children and to give generously and God’s will is something so different that I’m fighting against it? Or is it that He is still developing something in me and wants to run the string out until I’m about to break – mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
I’m thankful for the encouragers in my life. I’m surrounded by people who keep telling me great things are going to happen. People who tell me that God is working in me preparing me for something that will blow me away. People telling me that the right moment is still ahead of me. I appreciate it and really do try to take it to heart. I really do. It’s just hard.
God, take control. Make my mind full of your thoughts. Cover me up with you.
Grace and peace.