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Yesterday I mentioned Casting Crowns Praise You In This Storm.  The song starts off with the idea that the singer has called on God and thought He would step in to change things but it’s still raining.  My last two posts are all about struggles.  They are about obstacles that seem to continually pop up to block a path to perceived peace, to perceived happiness, to perceived rest.

The night after writing the second post, I got home to my temporary quarters to find a mouse in my bed.  YES!  I saw him run and went to pull the covers back and no mouse.  I thought I must have imagined it when I picked up my pillow and he came flying out of the pillowcase.  What a great start.  Later, when lying in bed about to have a FaceTime chat with a loved one, the bed frame broke.

The two nights prior to last night I slept a combined 8 hours.  Last night I got 5 1/2.  I guess I can look at that and say things are improving.  It’s hard to go to sleep on a leaning bed wondering if a mouse is going to come cuddle up to me.  Or chew off an ear.

The lesson is I can call and call and call on God, say amen and it may still be raining.  I don’t know why.  I don’t understand Him.  This relationship He says He wants with me isn’t what Joel Osteen keeps promising folks.  It wasn’t the relationship most of the mighty men in the Bible had either but I’m not seeking that high of a status.

I want my job to work out but just heard there may be another buyer involved now.  It makes me even less certain this is a solution for long.  I want my relationships to work out but my job is leading me further away from the people I want to be with the most.

And I keep finding myself praying.  I keep going back to God.  Even I have to ask myself why after awhile.  Today’s Jesus Calling devotional said to share my dreams with Him.  So far, “NOPE” is the answer I have gotten to my dream requests.  I know the answer was no because I was very specific.  For the last four years I have made some very specific dream requests and the answer has been NO.  NO.  NO.

And I keep finding myself praying.  And it’s still raining.

Grace and peace.

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