The old year is gone and I’m part thankful, part sad.  It was another difficult year in many ways, a year that tested me and drove me to my knees in tears.  It was also a year of learning, growing relationships, testing bonds and creating new things.  As with every year, it came with blessings and disappointments.

So, I look forward to 2014 with hope, wonder, fear and trepidation.  What will the new blessings be?  What obstacles will fall in my way?  I have a new job that could allow me to use so many abilities and gifts I have but it is an unstable environment and I don’t know that it will last long.  My youngest will graduate and then move on to college.  I’m in a new environment and away from my support group and wondering if I will be able to build relationships that sustain me in dark times and celebrate in the light.  I wonder if this is the year I turn the corner in other areas of my life that have been struggles.  Will I write my book?  Will I move?  Will I succeed in the areas I want to succeed?  Will I overcome my fears and weaknesses?  Will I do things I haven’t even dreamed of yet?

Change can be a scary thing but there is always so much hope in the new.  My prayer today is that my focus will remain on hope and that God will answer my pleadings in ways that I can see and that allow me to live in step with him.  And how I hope those steps will be in green pastures and beside still waters instead of climbing another scraggly mountainside.  There is hope.

It’s 2014.  I’m a year older and have a year less to live.  I pray that my time will be put to good things, to growing closer to God, to more quiet meditations and to being an instrument of peace, to bring light into darkness and to help others grow.  I know none of it comes free of pain at times, I just pray the pain leads to awareness and awareness to blessing.

Grace and peace.