I’ve been reading and listening to Dr. Brene Brown a lot recently. She has some incredible research on shame, vulnerability and fear and I’m soaking it all in. One of her comments is that her “gift” is to research and understand these areas because it puts joy, happiness and love in context for her. I feel that statement describes me perfectly. I seem to enjoy looking at suffering and the pain of life events, not to dwell in the darkness but to appreciate the context of light.
So, I sit here, in a foreign place away from friends and family and love and wonder why? Why me? Why here? Why now?
And then, I read a blog where the author writes about peace in uncertainty and how we can thrive in uncertain times. HEY LADY, can’t I just whine for a while?
A close friend sends me an email with Joshua 1:8 in a note and it leads me to my Bible where I’ve highlighted Joshua 1:9. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD you God will be with you wherever you go.
Today is one of those days I’m led to see light in context, to see goodness in the midst of hurt, to feel hope when I’m down. Tomorrow night I start a class at church I’ve been waiting for, one that I believe will rock my world and turn me upside down and inside out. I think I’m in this time and place for different reasons, one certainly being what I believe I’ll experience over the next 7-8 Wednesday nights.
I say I whine but really I think I just feel authentic pain in my situation. Then a day like today comes along and I see the pain in context and know I am allowed to see pain so I can empathize with others; and I’m allowed to see light so I can promise those in pain there is hope.
Grace and peace.