, , ,

I took a blogging holiday.  Sort of.  The truth is, I went through a few dark weeks.  I listened to the demons.  I saw the negative in everything.  It was dark.

It happens to me every so often.  I should say, I let it happen every so often.  My best friend in college called it my “dark mood” and said he made sure to stay away for a couple of weeks.  I was angry at God.  I was angry at the postman.  I was angry at the parking lot attendant.  I was angry with where I’m living.  I was angry at the guy in the fast food line.  Seriously, how many questions are there to ask at Taco Bell?

Then it happened.  “It” was a word from a friend.  “It” was a reminder that he loved me and saw the best in me no matter what I was going through.  “It” was another friend at church who said he loved me and he had hope that we would celebrate the trip out of the valley and darkness.  “It” was a wonderful woman who couldn’t fully understand why I acted the way I did but loved me anyway and stood by me.

I have been blessed with a host of friends.  I don’t know why they like me and stick by me but they do.  The closest of the close stick by me when the dark moods come and when my outlook is all about poor, pitiful me.  They don’t see the ugliness I exhibit on the outside, they only choose to see what they know is on the inside which is a better me, a positive me, a loving me.  They choose who they see and they treat me like the person I want to be instead of the person I’m acting out to be.

Where I’ve been was dark and ugly and I am so thankful that I have the people in my life who grab hold of me, prop me up and slowly walk me forward into the light and the hope of a new day.

Grace and peace.