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The weekend has left me drained.  Hard conversations.  Death.  A lack of understanding of what or if God is working in my life.  It was a weekend of hard things and it is a day of reflecting on hard things.

Someone I knew fairly well and though very highly of was killed in a car wreck this weekend.  Sadly, the wreck involved another family and they were killed also.  It’s a tragedy.  There is no other word I know to describe it.  Why does a mother have to die?  Why does and good woman, a servant, have to die so young?  Why did another family have to die?  God, we cry out for revelation.

Why does God sit idly by while the storms of life beat us down?  Why does God sit idly by when I want to crawl in a hole and hide?

Life is hard right now.  It’s nothing like the script I would write for myself or for so many others I know.  I know evil exists in this world and I believe in the unseen spiritual battles.  I believe in God’s power.  I just can’t understand nor have the revelation to understand why He lets me get battered around and beaten down.  I can live with the idea that there is a reason and I can live with the idea that my faith trumps my need to know what the reason is.  But, when I reach that place where my spirit is almost defeated and my faith is weak, why then?

A sweet, sweet person in my life keeps telling me I’m strong.  I appreciate the perspective because all I can feel is my grip slipping and the imminent danger of falling off the ledge.  Oh God, I cry out for revelation.

I cry out to be filled with hope again.

I cry out to be restored and be given favor.

I cry out to be returned to the people I love and who love me.

I know God has the power.  I believe He can make it happen.  So, I continue to cry out to Him.

Life is a hard thing.  So I cry out to the one who created life and beg for his mercy and grace and blessings.

I cry out.

Grace and peace.

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