I really, really want to write a feel good story. I really do.
In the last few days, I’ve experienced severe loneliness. Almost debilitating loneliness. Loneliness that makes one think thoughts they can’t put on their blog. In the last few days, I’ve had a friend tell me about the struggles of his life, his marriage and his reason to keep on living. In the last few days, I’ve had a friend tell me about the struggles of her life, about the impending death of someone very, very close to her and the fallout that may accompany it from family members.
Pain. Intense pain. Pain that takes the mind to the deepest, darkest recesses of thought.
Will it end? Will pain in this lifetime relent? Will pain give way to joy? Or even numbness?
Will it end? Will pain give way to hope? Will it give way to just a moment of peace?
I see people who seem to have good lives. They seem to have everything they want on top of everything they need. I see people who enjoy vacations and good jobs and freedom from debt. I see them. I wonder what it would be like to be them for a day…a week…a year…a lifetime. Can they imagine what I know as a reality? Can they imagine what my friends are going through?
I have hope that one day the pain will end. I don’t know if it will be in this life or another but I have hope that it will be sooner rather than later.
Will it end? I hope so. For me. For my friends. For those I see who hurt with intense pain that few understand or want to imagine. I hope so.
Grace and peace.