I have a degree in accounting and accounting bores me to tears. I got the degree because it is the one my parents said they would help pay for and I’m good enough with numbers to know that was hard to pass up. Even though I don’t prefer accounting work, the numbers are now a part of me and something I understand pretty well. As I have gone through times of consulting with business owners, I always tell them the numbers are great for planning and reporting but it is the execution that matters most. Numbers are important in confirming what has happened and answering questions we want to know about something. Numbers are objective and to some degree take emotion and desire out of responses. While numbers are as good as the information used to process them, they do tell a story.
This weekend, I got results from an assessment I took along with responses from my VSW. I have had a feeling about this woman for quite sometime but my accounting training and reliance on objective numbers had led me to be very curious about how we matched up. Oh my! We met with someone to discuss the results with us yesterday. I was confident going in and ecstatic coming out of that time. I won’t share details but suffice it to say that today is a very good day in my heart and in my head. There were other confirmations of the same thing that was in my heart over the weekend and it all built to a point of me knowing that my head and heart were in concert and beautiful music was being played.
I am the first to say that I do not know how God works. I do not know when the acts or does not act even though there are times I think I know it. I do not know how he chooses to act towards good things and bad things in peoples lives. All of this is open for much debate and all I can honestly say is that I have so much to learn about God. That said, today I believe this with all my being. He has opened his hand in front of me and presented a gift in my life that is radiant and beautiful. Today, I choose to believe he has acted with favor in my life and given me a gift in the form of a woman, a VSW (very special woman for any new readers), that will bless me and challenge me and love me and share hope with me for all the days ahead.
As I have said in the past, my blog is written by me and to me about things I am dealing with and experiencing today. For those of you who are reading my notes to myself you know I write often about struggle and pain. While struggle and pain are a part of life, I do not want to miss the goodness and glory of life and today I am celebrating the extreme joy I get to experience too. Where I recently wrote about the feeling of being the boxer knocked down over and over, today I have the feeling of a child joyfully running through water, splashing and playing and having the time of my life. The vision changes from a swimming pool to a beach and back and forth but the idea remains constant. Simply joy. It is filled with the laughter that comes from the joy of play, from the joy of happiness, from the joy of feeling like this feeling is all there ever was, is and will be. Today is one of those days I do not want to forget. I want it on a loop that plays over and over and I trust it will be there in my mind.
YHWH, while I do not begin to assume I know your ways, today I believe I am experiencing the goodness you have lavished on me. I believe I see what the future can be, not in a specific kind of way but in an emotional and spiritual way. Thank you is not enough but it they are the only words I have. I will try to live the rest of my days respecting and honoring the gift you have laid in my path and in doing so, honor you. Amen.
Grace and peace.