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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

For a good part of my life I haven’t really liked myself.  I haven’t liked my body type.  I haven’t liked my job.  I haven’t liked the way I let people run over me.  I haven’t liked a lot of things about me.  The way I handled it was to pour myself into something and/or pour a lot of something into me.

Since going through a divorce some 4 years ago, I have found counseling through 3 different Christian counselors.  One moved away and I still use the other 2 and all of them have put good thoughts and good habits into my life.  One of my current counselors addresses my need for self-compassionate talk.  Not a rah-rah, oh-don’t-you-feel-good-about-yourself fluff talk but an honest look at who I am, my relationships and all that I have accomplished.  The other talks to me about my perfectionist tendencies and my ability to berate myself for any reason.  I also have a VSW (and now fiancee) in my life who reinforces what these people say on a regular basis.

At almost 50 years of age, I am finally learning to be okay with me.  I am accepting my imperfections and I am allowing myself to see the relationships I have built.  If I am honest with myself, the vast majority of the relationships I have see my imperfections and love me in spite of them and because of them.  My tendency to let the 1 or 2 people who choose to always point out the negative affect how I see myself is fading behind the viewpoints of my VSW and my true friends.

I am grateful to be surrounded by a host of loving people and I hope each day going forward God will remind me that I am his masterpiece and allow the words of my friends soak into my being.  I want to step away from the perfectionist and see the perfection in an imperfect world that allows me to be me.  God is alive and working through my VSW and others and I am humbled and grateful.

And getting to a good place with me being me.  🙂

Grace and peace.

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