“Strongholds are created by trauma and released by trust.” – David Terry
I have issues. Shame issues. Fear issues. Rejection issues.
I hear voices. “You blew it.” “Others people/things are more interesting.” “I’m done with you.”
As I examine these issues in my life, I realize the trauma was created by or with people who are the closest to me. The people I should feel the safest with are the very ones that introduced the trauma, sometimes without knowing it or realizing it themselves. Yet the trauma and the strongholds of shame, fear and rejection that came with the trauma started with someone very close to me.
The great news is that I can overcome the stronghold. The feat is that I have to trust people close to me to do overcome it. Dang! Couldn’t it be easier than that? Isn’t there a phrase I can say in front of a mirror or a breathing exercise that will let me overcome that stronghold on my own without putting my heart and emotions on the line? Well, the easy answer is no.
The longer answer is that the strongest thing I can do is trust in something or someone who has hurt me. It’s easy to withhold trust. It’s easy to say I will talk to them, smile at them and not let them in my mind but, oh snap, it is HARD to trust knowing I might get smacked again.
The cool thing in my life is that I have proven trusting works. I’m not afraid to let you know it isn’t always easy but it does work. I’m not afraid to let you know that sometimes old thoughts creep back in but they can be overcome. I’m not even afraid to let you know that old wounds can be reopened but you can be stronger for the effort and the pain more manageable…or even negligible if you have worked out (trusted) enough.
I have issues but each day I am getting stronger and finding it easier to open myself up to trust. In myself. In others. Trusting is strengthening my mind. And my soul.
I think there is a simple explanation why it works. God always trusts. I don’t earn his trust, he gives it freely. Regardless of how many times I have broken it, he is open to trusting me again time and time again. Imagine the strength. So, why shouldn’t I do the same? Why shouldn’t I keep trusting over and over and over again. If I want to live Godly, giving trust is a key. So, when I see my issues creep up and hear the voices talking lies, I have to reach within and open myself up to trust. Trusting overcomes the shame, the fear, the rejection and leaves me with the ability to see what is true and right and noble and good.
I have issues. And, I have weapons to combat them and to overcome them.
Grace and peace.